i pray today that someone will read this and see who i am. to some, i am a goofy girl who isnt serious  at all. some i am a girl who is a friend, some a faded friend for some reasons i cannot understand, to some i am almost a sister to them, to some i am a girl to tlk to who will tlk back because i will tlk to anyone at anytime. to some i am a girl friend who will do anythign for her guys. some i am a mean girl who is sarcastic and will be really mean to you, but of course in ten mins, i will be sry, cuz i didnt mean any of what i said. i guess im justa jokester.to some kids i am hollywood, to two i am a sister. to four i am a daughter. to some people i am jessica the girl helps lead worship at c3. but i relized that i shouldnt be just one of those things, i am all of those things because somehow i am supposed to be all of those things. i am jessica rae. i wouldnt be jessica rae if i wsnt all of those things. today i also relized my best friend drew eternity on her arm for me three years ago next week. that drawing showed me a new life . Three years ago, but its crazy how i can still remember everything she told me. i can remember looking at a picture of her sitting on her front porch as a child wiht her dog, telling me stories about her past, and how she changed. three years ago it amazes me how far we both have come. my best friend is chasong her dream, she is fullfilling every wish as i type. she may be 3000 miles away in the ocean somewhere, but she is happy.as i think about how much she is happy i appreciate how much she has done for me. then i look how far i have come. since that day, i changed. i changed the way i veiwed ppl, the way i look at the world, my family, my friends, i choose them wisely, i read scripture, i decided that kids are my calling, not "BEING FAMOUS" .my talents are for the Lord God, not for celebrity. i found where i canbe happy, even though i go through rough times, and i have rough relashinships. three years ago this week coming up i did make a decision. if i only knew how much that decision would change my life, i would have done it much much earlier. i see the reasons i god has put me where i am. i know that all the things that ahpen will trun out okay. it happened because "he knows the plans he has for me" trust is an issue, but i will trust. thakn you nicole lee i love you with all my heart i miss you but i am proud of you. you know all this already but i want to make it known. thre years ago you were a girl i didnt know, you said that prayer as i repeated and it will never leave my heart. i love you nicoley. come home soon

recap if you didnt read: i love god and my best friend nicole

i wanna shop around in my prom dress.

why do i have such a kid attached heart.

im an emotional wreck this week. try not to tlk to me if you dont wanna hear me be sad. im trying to be happy, i really am. some times im happy as a lark...i think, im not sure wat a lark is. and then others im sad so sad.

but i do wanna shop in my prom dress and eat popcorn and drink rootbeer out of the bottles on a couch with a bunch of girls just hanging out. in our prom dresses. come on we spent alot of money on those things, im not sure why they are so expensive we only wear them for like 5 hours....

girls are strange.

my name is molly, and i have a friend name bjorn, we are from england. that is all

this is a recap, if you ddint read all the way through, i want to waer my prom dress, i am a girl aka unexplained in many ways.....

to all the ppl of the dry sea

                      I am hollywood.........not you.......you will never be hollywood

not like me anyway. i provd to myself that i am attached to my kids. they are also to me. i love them with my whole heart. absolutley the best thing that i can do is work at the Y. i went back today, after threeDAYS of crying, alot of you lovely ppl heard that alot. thanks for putting up with my saddness, but im a very happy shining hollywood once again.chris  stone vivisted me too!! wooo thats great. i get full allowance of becoming her again on monday afternoon, they have been working on me coming back on the Y "ship" for the few days i was gone, so i am great now. i got a interesting IM last nite too. good though, things are workinig out for me today. im lovin it, like mcdonalds, i dont really love mcds though. i lie their tea. thts pretty much it. but now i leave, time to grub. chris graebe is a cutie come se him on sunday nite 6 o clock!!! woooo

See You At The Pole...i better see you at that rally..yes you ..all of you....if anyine reads this.....prove it to me

              everythings changed in a matter of minutes

                    nothign was saved in time.

this xanga entry is written to the name "Hollywood"

dear "Hollywood" you sweet sounding name, why have i retired you. im not qiute inderstanding. i dont even want the new job. yes of course the pay is nicer, but is it going to fullfill my needs. my emothional needs my attachments to those yelling loud, and obnoxious children. jason mcgill, my favorite 4th grader, and his hott dad. wow, hollywood will miss them dearly. but today as we know hollywood is gone, she will return someday, mustard said so. chris stone is hollywoods adopted brother, she will soon be signing papers. but we do need to wish hollywood luck tmrw at her new not wanted job. friday i will visit. i need to get my paycheck. friday is a good day. chris graebe, the ymca, jason mcgill and his hotttt dad. all good things.

luch went funny. very nice i had a good sandwich, with some loverly friends. great. now my eyes are weeping, and they are getting heavier as i type. soo i will now leave, and leave hollywood up to the new job. i will plan to return, but for now she is retired. sorry kids.

  all the changes that have changed in these minutes that pass so quickly, are all for those reasons we do not know. we will catch those reasons in the future.

                                      to all the people of the dry sea

"...the lord is with thee....." .funny and quite confusing at times. but yet satisfying to say the least. but think of this. the lord is with thee. so if he is with me, im thee of course, but your thee too, so hes with you. hmm so all at the same time hes with the both of us.".....for i know the plans i have for you....then you will call upon me and i will listen.....". what an amazing guy. yes just an amazing guy, that son of his too.hmmmm.

i sit rite now in the most definitly comfortable bed on the planet. its mine. it reminds me of snuggle the bear. his home is my bed. the floating soft whillowing coulds in the air, then falls so nicely from the sky in a house full of children into a basket of towls. how nice a bear to have that life.falling from ceilings and being filmed. if only i could be so lucky.

so i have lunch date, i told one of my "dates" i would not mention his ever so lovely and popular name, so im going with, 3 gloriously entertaing guys/man.notice just one man.the other two...not quite men.

 i thought today was not going to turn out as well as it did. it was a day, not good not bad, but ive definitly been blessed with both. yesterday not one on my top ten list of best days. but i wouldnt be able to name any on that list anyway of the top of my head, so there really isnt a list, i guess i lied.     sin.

so no one told me life was gonna be this way.yes i stole that from the rembrandts, they dont mind i hope. i look up and my eyes see a sign it says "I (big red heart) NY" hmm new york sounds nice rite now.

ok lovey loversons, i think my day is through, myself has a date with the doc tmrw at 9:15.think about me then. tmrw is friday, no school for me. my first college skip day. dont tell, next friday i will also plan to skip, chris greabe, for he will be attending some neat assemblys. and i was chosen to tag along, yes! chosen may not be the words to describe it... another thinking hmmmmmm

now now men and women of the xanga world if you havnt left to My Space. im trying to not go on there. im keeping myself from it. not that i think its bad, just that i do not want to be addicted. i most definitly was addicted to xanga in the early days. we all were do not lie to yourself.  sin

now ill se you that pole.